Now that almost all kids are returning to school, there is a lot more interaction with other children. While an increase in social contact is undoubtedly a good thing, it also leads to an escalation in one negative area: bullying.

Your child comes home one day obviously upset. He does not want to tell you what is happening. After some questioning, you pull out that he is being bullied by a few peers at school. Your defensive parenting instinct goes on high alert but you haven’t dealt with bullying before. What should you do?

Be Supportive

Your first reaction may be to want to exact revenge, but it is more important for you to be there for your son or daughter. It is crucial that you listen to your child without immediately offering advice. Make sure they understand that it is not their fault and praise them for coming to you. Being understanding and supportive is probably the most important role a parent can play. 

Take it Seriously

Some parents may have difficulty considering some teasing between kids as a serious problem but it is serious to your child. You don’t want to ignore it and have it become a bigger issue. You may have heard of news reports where bullying led to suicidal behavior. Although that is rare, it has been associated with various negative effects, including depression, anxiety, and decreased school performance. 

Educate and Empower 

It is critical you talk to your son or daughter so they understand exactly what bullying is and to be vocal if they see it happening to themselves or others. Practice with them on how to act and respond to specific bullying situations; role-playing is an effective strategy. Stopbullying.gov is a useful resource for a host of information about bullying. 

Communicate

Many children (especially boys) are not great communicators. If they feel comfortable talking to you, however, they will be more likely to let you know bullying is occurring and come to you for advice. Acting in a non-judgmental manner is the best way to get your child to open up. If you cut them off, ask them what they did wrong, or immediately tell them how to fix it, they are more likely to shut down. 

Role Model

Believe it or not, you are your kid’s number one role model. If they see you treating others with respect they are more likely to do the same. They will also look to see how you handled similar situations with siblings. Keep in mind, “do as I say not as I do” rarely works. 

Engage The School

More times than not, bullying occurs between school students. Whether this is happening in person or online, it is critical to alert the teachers and/or school counselor about what is occurring. School officials can keep a lookout for bullying behavior and intervene appropriately. Having everyone on the same page is essential to preventing bullying. As a side note, remember to be persistent. Teachers and counselors are usually very busy. As a parent, you may have to make a consistent effort to keep in touch to ensure appropriate action. 

Help Build A Positive Self-Image

A healthy self-image acts as a shield for bullying. Bullies tend to pick on more vulnerable people and shy away from peers who appear willing to stand up for themselves. A great way to build self-esteem in your child is to get them involved in activities where they can develop a variety of skills and create positive friendships

How To Handle Cyberbullying

Despite the explosion of social media, most bullying still occurs in person. However, more and more bullying occurs over the internet. In fact, it has been reported that over half of tweens and teens have experienced at least one occurrence of bullying online. The suggestions above apply to all bullying but there are some things you can do to help your child specifically combat cyberbullying:

Educate and Create Clear Rules for Internet Use

First, kids need to know what is appropriate online behavior and what bullying looks like. Next, they need to understand the consequences of posting online and keeping their information private and secure. In the heat of the moment, your son or daughter might want to say something on impulse; they need to be taught to always think before they post. Developing clear rules for appropriate usage can prevent your child from involving themselves in bullying before it begins. 

Supervise Online Activity

Monitoring can take many forms (e.g., obtaining passwords, being their “friend”) but it is clear that your son or daughter needs some supervision online. If you can view their interactions then you can intervene when bullying occurs. Even though they may not invite your monitoring, help them understand that it is in their best interest. 

Ignore and Block

Bullies are looking for a reaction. If you don’t give them one, they will eventually go away. Of course, that is easier said than done. Luckily, most social media and messaging sites allow you to block people who are being inappropriate. That way you won’t have to deal with them online in the future. 

Report Abuse

Most apps have ways to report people who exhibit bullying behavior. They may even be able to remove the offensive content. If it is a peer from school it is important to let the school know so they can take appropriate action. If the bullying reaches the level of a threat you need to report it to the police. 

Be Proactive On Bullying

Bullying is not going away. In fact, social media makes it easier to bully vulnerable children than ever before. As a parent, you have a right to be concerned. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to prevent your children from experiencing its most serious consequences. With some support, education, communication, and outreach you can stop bullying in its tracks.