As the leaves turn colors and fall, our minds naturally think about transitions. Thousands of people across the country are making some sort of adjustment in their lives. Significant changes are happening all around us, whether that be a new job, a recent marriage, or a new home. It isn’t easy to adapt to new things, even when they may be joyous. Here are some reasons why life transitions can be difficult and what you can do about it.

Why Are Transitions So Hard?

Change is hard. And transitions are usually major changes. Entering a new arrangement has a lot of moving parts that make our lives more difficult. Here are some of the most common reasons that transitions are so challenging:

Stress

Every transition has stress, whether it is good or bad. Many transitions have a lot of work involved, such as moving or dealing with the death of a loved one. Tackling those responsibilities is stressful in itself. And then there is the emotional stress of a major life change. If you examine the most stressful events that people experience, they are all some sort of transition. This list includes moving, death, divorce, and job loss.

Uncertainty and Fear of the Unknown

Uncertainty is one of the top reasons that transitions are so difficult. When you don’t know what is going to happen it brings up a lot of anxiety. That is why it is always a good idea to set clear expectations with people. Unfortunately, you can’t control everything. And when transitions occur, you often don’t know how they will play out. Many times, a transition brings up fear. Fear that the change will bring negative consequences. Fear of the unknown. If you are a person that tends to think negatively, your fears are often exacerbated. Transitions often turn out positively but the anticipation can be frightening. Anticipating a poor outcome might be the biggest fear of all.

Change

People don’t like change. We all live in our comfortable bubbles and try our best to keep everything the same. Even when our lives aren’t going so well, we tend to prefer the comfort of sameness. As they say, “the enemy you know is better than the enemy you don’t”. It helps to be motivated to change but life transitions don’t always give you a choice. Whether you choose a transition or not, change is always a bit scary.

Adjustment Disorders

Sometimes, a transition can be so difficult it can cause a clinically significant psychological problem. These are the definition of adjustment disorders, one of the most commonly diagnosed psychiatric problems. Adjustment disorders occur when someone experiences an event and has difficulty coping, leading to negative emotions, such as depressive and anxiety symptoms. The effects are usually fleeting but severe enough to disrupt your life significantly. Think of it as a lousy transition on steroids.

Transition Trauma

At its worst, a transition is traumatic, such as the unexpected death or injury of a family member. It causes a transition, but one that is severe, quick, and unwanted. A traumatic change is so momentous that it can change the course of your life forever and lead you down a difficult path.

Tips for Coping With Life’s Transitions

While transitions can be very challenging, they are not insurmountable. Here are some suggestions for making them more manageable:

Rely on Others

You have likely spent years developing meaningful relationships with family and friends. Now is the time to use them for support. These are the people that know you best and know what you need. Moreover, people don’t always realize that our loved ones actually enjoy helping us (at least sometimes). Relying on others may also include joining a support group with other people that are dealing with similar situations. The concept of universality—that you are not alone—is often a powerful aid when dealing with a difficult transition.

Consider it a Challenge

While many people dread transitions, it may instead be helpful to view them as a challenge to be overcome. This means reframing your thoughts in order to motivate yourself to be proactive. Stress doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Eustress is the positive side of stress. Instead of being debilitating, it acts as a way to motivate you to accomplish a goal. For example, changing jobs may be stressful but you can look at it as a motivating force to make your life better.

Prepare When Possible

It is possible to plan for many transitions. Certain changes in your life, such as a move or a new job, you know will be happening beforehand. If you have reasonable expectations, you will see what you are facing and be able to take the appropriate steps to make it easier.

Shit Happens

Another way to reframe is to acknowledge that transitions are a normal part of life. Whether they are ultimately good or bad, we can’t escape changes in our life. Believing that nothing will change and we can live in a bubble is not realistic. There are many forces outside our control and it helps to accept that.

Self-Care

I mention self-care a lot. Probably because it is so important. When you are dealing with transitions, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and focus on the changes at hand. But that is a big mistake. You can’t effectively deal with a transition if you aren’t doing well yourself. So, take some time and make sure you are doing okay. Whether performing a few minutes of meditation or having coffee with a friend, it is time well spent.

Keep Everything Else The Same

Dealing with one transition is hard enough. You don’t want to have to cope with many changes in your life all at the same time. It is recommended to focus on one transition and keep to your other routines. This will minimize the disruption to your life.

Acknowledge What Has Been Left Behind

Transitions often mean that you have moved on from an important part of your life. For example, a move means you left your old home. A death in the family means you have to go on without someone special. It is crucial to acknowledge what you may have lost. In fact, it is usually detrimental to avoid marking the transition in some way. Processing the loss is much healthier than acting like it never happened.

Like the changes in the season, transitions are an inevitable part of life. Although scary, they present the opportunity to propel your life forward in a positive way. Every transition has its challenges. But, with the appropriate attitude and actions, they can simply be the next step toward a brighter tomorrow.