When most people think of intimacy, one image pops into their mind: sex. While sex is an important part of intimacy, it is only one aspect of it. What if I told you that intimacy had multiple parts? Would you be surprised to know that it has physical and mental health benefits? This blog will be the first of two to tackle the topic of intimacy. Today we will answer three essential questions: What is intimacy? Are there different types of intimacy? What are the benefits of intimacy? In part two, we will examine what prevents intimacy and what we can do to improve it.

What Is Intimacy?

Intimacy is loosely defined as a closeness or connection between two people. One hallmark of intimacy is vulnerability. You can’t develop a close connection with another person if you don’t allow them to see your true self. Trust is another critical aspect of intimacy. This requires you to be honest and feel safe sharing your thoughts and feelings. Despite what you may have previously thought, you don’t have to be romantically involved with someone to share intimacy with them. You can be intimate with a close friend or family member as well. It is just a different kind of intimacy. Speaking of which, let’s explore the different types of intimacy.

The Five Types of Intimacy

Although numerous types of intimacy have been identified, these five seem to be the predominant types:

Physical

Physical intimacy encompasses all types of physical contact. Most people will think of sex, but it can be any type of physical affection, including hugs, caresses, and holding hands. Physical touch releases the hormone oxytocin, which is linked to positive emotions and a calming effect.

Emotional

Emotional intimacy is the key to healthy, long-lasting relationships. It is the ability to feel safe sharing yourself with another person, and having the knowledge that they will be accepting and understanding. For example, telling someone about a past trauma would be an act of emotional intimacy. Achieving this level of vulnerability can be difficult for many people. Men, in particular, have often been taught that it is a sign of weakness. However, the truth is that exhibiting emotional intimacy takes considerable strength and will fortify any relationship.

Intellectual

Intellectual intimacy is sharing ideas and opinions with another person on more intellectual topics. For example, talking about politics, the news, or a podcast you enjoyed. You may not always agree with the other person but you are stimulated by the conversation. A book club is a group of people that share intellectual intimacy. This type of connection can even lead to romance and physical intimacy, as certain people are most sexually attracted to another person’s mind, referred to as a “sapiosexual“.

Experiential

Experiential intimacy is when you increase your connection with another person through shared activities. This is part of the reason that it is important to find people with whom you have something in common. By sharing these experiences, you will further your connection. If you don’t enjoy what you are doing with another person, you will feel less close to them. You may have heard of the term “male bonding”. Often, it is easier for men to participate in this type of intimacy than sharing themselves emotionally.

Spiritual

Spiritual intimacy occurs when a person shares similar beliefs with another person. Most often, this refers to religious beliefs. Being part of the same church or religious community will foster a spiritual connection. However, beliefs can also be focused on a set of values and ethics. For example, volunteering for a particular cause may produce feelings of spiritual intimacy.

The Benefits Of Intimacy

Intimacy has more benefits than you may think:

Physical Health

Intimacy is good for our physical health. An increase in intimacy is associated with a decrease in somatic symptoms, including muscle aches, headache, insomnia, upset stomach, skin irritation, and illness. What’s more, an increase in relationship quality probably means you will live a longer life.

Mental Health

We have already discussed how intimacy increases oxytocin, which is one of the feel good hormones that can improve our mood. In addition, relationship quality has been linked with anxiety. The higher level of intimacy, the lower level of anxiety. This jibes with the many studies that conclude that healthy marriages lead to improved emotional wellness.

Increased Relationship Satisfaction

Not surprisingly, a more intimate relationship is seen as a better relationship. Emotional and physical intimacy were correlated with couples’ relationship satisfaction. It seems to answer the age old question: Would you rather have a few close friends or many superficial social contacts? It is clear that having a close friend or lover is more satisfying than a simple acquaintance.

Improved Sex Life

If you are afraid of emotional intimacy, you should take note of the following: Higher levels of intimacy are associated with increased sexual desire. Ask yourself: do you want sex or do you want really good sex? If you answered the latter, try adding some vulnerability and intimacy to your relationship.

Don’t Shy Away From Intimacy

A lot of people are afraid of intimacy, me included. It is scary to be vulnerable and share your secrets and values with another person. But if there is one takeaway from this article it is this: Intimacy is one of the keys to a happier, healthier, and more meaningful life. Now that we know how important it is, we want to find out how to ignite it. Next blog, we will explore what gets in the way of intimacy and what can we can do to take our relationships to the next level. In the meantime, take the initial steps toward opening yourself up to important people in your life. You will find it leads to the deeper connections we all desire.