Loneliness anyone? Almost everyone felt isolated during the last few years of the pandemic. But loneliness is not just a result of COVID-19. It is a worldwide epidemic. Post-pandemic, 57 percent of men and 59 percent of women reported being lonely, with minorities and people of lower income feeling even higher rates of isolation. You might be thinking, “Who cares about a little loneliness?” But feeling isolated has more severe implications than you might think. Here is what you need to know about being lonely.

What is Loneliness?

You might be wondering, how can so many people feel lonely when it seems like we are always surrounded by friends, family, and colleagues? The American Psychological Association (APA) defines loneliness as “affective and cognitive discomfort or uneasiness from being or perceiving oneself to be alone or otherwise solitary”. It is important to recognize that loneliness is a perception. You can literally be in the middle of a crowded room and feel lonely. Additionally, two people can be in the exact same situation and one may feel lonely and the other does not. What that tells us is that the situation does not matter as much as how you view it. Therefore, If you think you are lonely, you are lonely, no matter how many people you may interact with every day.

Consequences of Loneliness

Loneliness can affect every aspect of our life. It impacts our thinking, our feeling, and our health. Yes, it sucks. Here’s why:

Cognitive Function

Loneliness has been associated with several negative aspects of cognitive functioning, including declining memory, verbal fluency, and visuospatial ability. Much like anxiety, loneliness appears to distract our minds and decrease the clarity of our thoughts. And, as if that wasn’t enough, social isolation increases the risk of dementia.

Physical Health

When most people think about loneliness, they picture its psychological effects. Little do they know how it relates to severe physical problems. Maybe the most concerning is the association between loneliness and cardiovascular functioning. It is positively correlated with both heart disease and stroke. Scariest of all, it can cut years off your life and lead to premature death.

Mental Health

Not surprisingly, being lonely is bad for your mental health. The common portrayal of loneliness is the person huddling alone in their home, feeling agitated, sad, and questioning their self-worth. It is no wonder that it is linked with depression and anxiety. What might shock you is how bad it can get. At its worst, it is associated with suicidal ideation and parasuicide.

Poor Habits

Loneliness has been found to lead to bad habits. Forty-three percent of people who felt lonely turned to binge eating, 34 percent smoked cigarettes, and 21 percent used alcohol or drugs to regulate their feelings. And what are bad habits really all about? Some might argue that they are maladaptive ways to cope with the effects of feeling lonely.

What to Do About Loneliness

Acceptance

There is a stigma that comes with feeling lonely. Like everyone is looking at you and judging you for your loneliness. However, I think we have established that a lot of people feel lonely. That knowledge can be a powerful stigma eraser. It is ok to feel lonely because so many people are in the same boat. There is no need to hide it. Instead, accept it and do something about it.

Reframe Your Thoughts

A good question to ask is, “Do I have a reason to feel lonely?” This is not meant to invalidate your feelings, but it is possible that you are not giving yourself credit for the relationships you do have. If you are often surrounded by friends and loved ones, maybe you need to reconsider your loneliness. Additionally, it is important to feel gratitude for what you do have. You may be focusing on the negative and ignoring that you have people in your life that care about you.

Take a Social Risk

Some people feel lonely for a reason. They don’t have a ton of friends to begin with and they are afraid to put themselves in uncomfortable social situations. This might be due to social anxiety or maybe they have gotten too comfortable on their own. In any case, it is necessary to participate in an event where you can meet new people. Choose a new activity you might enjoy or go to that party you might usually skip. After all, what do you have to lose?

Initiate With Friends

Don’t assume people don’t want to hang out just because they don’t initiate a meetup. There could be a lot of reasons for their apparent lack of interest. For example, maybe they think you don’t like them or they might be genuinely busy. Some people are just the type that waits for others to make contact first. So, get in touch and see what happens. If they still blow you off, at least you know where you stand.

Volunteer

Volunteering is a great way to get involved with a group of people that share common interests. Plus, you are assisting people that need your help. It is a no lose situation. Meet new people and do a good deed. What a rewarding feeling!

Date

There is no substitute for a romantic partner. You can have numerous friends and close family, and still not feel the same intimacy as having a significant other. Part of that reason is because partners tend to be around more. You spend a lot of time with them and may live with them full-time. Plus, they are part of your everyday life and can be relied on to give you constant support and advice. That is one reason why married people tend to be healthier. You can have friends and still feel lonely. It is much harder to feel alone when you have another person so closely involved in your life.

Make A Schedule (And Stick To It)

When you have a schedule, you have things to do. You have a purpose, even if it is just to exercise or go to the store. Lonely people tend to isolate themselves and lead a more rudderless existence. The beauty of a schedule is that you can choose to fill your life with various activities and feel less lonely because of it. Of course, a schedule is only beneficial if you follow it. The good news is that following a schedule is reinforcing. I mean, who doesn’t feel good when they cross items off their list?

Loneliness is a major problem in the United States. Besides the obvious sadness and isolation, it can lead to serious physical and psychological problems. The good news is that you can work on your thoughts and behavior and get rid of that unwanted feeling. So, dont underestimate loneliness. Instead, take charge of your life and feel lonely no more.