I don’t know about you but I’ve been plenty angry lately. Angry at the coronavirus. Mad at people who won’t social distance. Angry at my mother for getting a facial. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Anger is a natural emotion. Everyone gets angry. And, recently, we have had a lot to be angry about. We just want to make sure that our anger does not get us into trouble. Here we will explore the meaning of anger management and what we can do to make sure it does not get the best of us.

What is Anger Management?

A common misconception is that anger management is all about eliminating anger. That is incorrect. It is okay to be angry. You are human. What isn’t all right is when you punch someone in the face because they aren’t wearing a mask. Instead, people need to learn how to transform their anger into something healthy and societally appropriate. The following methods are commonly used to help people work on their anger management:

Know Your Triggers

In order to practice effective anger management, you must learn what makes you angry. There are two types of triggers: internal or external. An internal trigger is usually a physical sensation, thought, or emotion. For example, being tired or upset can be a trigger. External triggers can be a person, place, or thing that causes us to become angry. For example, seeing someone you don’t like could be an external trigger. It is important to understand your triggers for a couple of reasons. First, triggers tell you the situations for which you need to be prepared. Second, by avoiding triggers, you can escape possibly negative outcomes.

Relaxation/Meditation

It is hard to be angry when you are relaxed. Performing effective relaxation techniques when you encounter a trigger can be critical to success. For example, deep breathing or muscle relaxation can significantly reduce your anger. Additionally, a regular practice of relaxation and meditation lowers your baseline anger level so you aren’t as angry in the first place.

Quick Anger Coping Skills

Anger comes on fast. It is crucial to have some go-to coping skills to buy you a few moments. If you have to think about what skill you are going to use you have already lost. So, it is best to have a toolbox ready. Deep breathing, for instance, can be used as an effective quick coping skill but there are many others that don’t involve relaxation. Coping skills, for example, could include distraction and walking away. These skills are necessary to give you the time to think through the potential consequences of your actions.

Cognitive Restructuring

A primary aspect of anger management is cognitive restructuring. That means working on changing rigid and unrealistic thoughts that cause people to become angry. Individuals with anger issues often exaggerate the negativity of a situation. After failing at a task, for instance, they may think that it is the end of the world. As a result, they become overly frustrated. Instead, they could simply learn to look at failures as a temporary setback, not something catastrophic. When you view the world through a realistic lens, it is often not as bad as it initially seemed.

Problem Solving

At times, changing thoughts is not the answer. Sometimes situations really are unfair and being angry makes sense. In those cases, individuals need to work on their problem-solving skills. Learning a step-by-step process to solving problems will help you reduce your frustrations. You still won’t be able to solve all your troubles but you will feel better knowing you gave it your best shot.

Humor

The use of humor is a valuable skill for angry people. Having you or someone else find the humor in a difficult situation can be highly disarming. Humor is powerful because it shifts how you view something. Instead of seeing a situation as disastrous, you don’t see it as quite so serious. Using humor when angry is not easy but it can be a very effective technique. I mean, how can you be angry when you are laughing?

Anger Outlets

Anger management is largely about finding an appropriate way to express ourselves. Common outlets could be exercise and talking to others about our problems. Although we tend to think about verbal and physical outlets first, there are numerous other forms of expression, including art, writing, music, and mindfulness. Regular participation in expressive activities will help you keep your anger at an acceptable baseline level. If you can find a suitable outlet that doesn’t hurt you or anyone else, you have gained a valuable tool.

Social Skills

Anger can be a result of a social skills deficit. Some people have never learned prosocial ways to interact with others and they instead turn to aggression. In addition, individuals who lack social skills frequently become frustrated because they are not able to communicate their needs to other people. Further, good social skills help develop friendships that build self-esteem and serve as support. Therapies, such as Aggression Replacement Training, use social skills training as a significant part of their treatment to reduce aggressive and maladaptive behavior.

Self-Care

Self-care is good for almost any emotional problem, including anger. In short, self-care is behavior that helps you to be healthier. For example, eating healthily and getting proper sleep and exercise will give you the base necessary to battle your anger. If you aren’t taking care of yourself, you will have almost no chance of overcoming your anger issues.

Medicines

There is no medication designed specifically for anger but certain psychotropic medications are used for that purpose. Specifically, SSRIs, mood stabilizers, and antipsychotic medications often have anger reducing effects. While you may be hesitant to turn to medication, it could be just what is needed when other anger management strategies have failed. This is especially true for a severe anger problem such as you might find in someone diagnosed with Intermittent Explosive Disorder.

If you are hesitant to use prescription medication, there are herbal remedies, such as valerian, chamomile, and passionflower that have been observed to have a calming effect.

Anger Management for a Better Life

People that express their anger in inappropriate ways tend to be unhappy with themselves and rejected by others. Unfortunately, it is not easy to combat long-ingrained behavior. It takes considerable education, practice, and perseverance. With work, however, anger management can help you take back your life. While some of the above practices can be successfully performed using self-help resources, more severe anger problems may require professional group, family, or individual counseling. So, don’t wait. Commit to managing your anger for a more satisfying life.