A positive relationship can be a great source of overall wellness. Not only are they fun, but they are good for our health. They can reduce stress and even increase how long we live. However, not all relationships are so positive. There is another side to the coin. When relationships are full of negativity, they can do the exact opposite. Bad relationships are associated with heart disease and an increase in illness. Therefore, it seems like a good idea to eliminate toxic relationships from your life. But how do you know when it is time to say adieu? Let’s find out.

10 Signs That It Is Time To Leave a Relationship

Arguments are Frequent and Harmful

Everyone argues from time to time. You do it with friends, you do it with lovers. It is probably more unusual to never have a fight. However, everything is relative. Having a fight once in a while with a friend or partner is different than regular conflicts that may turn aggressive and hurtful. Frequent and aggressive fights may even border on abuse. If you find yourself fighting more often than having fun, it might be time to explore other options.

You Don’t Feel Accepted for Who You Are

People typically don’t change in a relationship. And you definitely aren’t going to change unless you are motivated to do so. That being said, it is crucial that you feel safe to be “you” in any relationship. If you feel constant pressure to change or put on an act in front of another person, you are never going to feel comfortable. You are also sending yourself a message that you are not good enough. That can be a significant hit to your self-image. And who wants to be in a relationship where you are made to feel poorly about being true to yourself?

There Isn’t Enough Relationship Intimacy

When we think of intimacy we often think of sex. But intimacy is much more than that. It is also the emotional closeness you feel with another person. All good friendships and romantic relationships have some level of emotional intimacy. Even men, who sometimes seem incapable of being vulnerable, require some level of intimacy. Romantic relationships also need to have sexual intimacy. If you don’t want to have sex with your partner or they don’t want to have sex with you, it indicates a greater problem. In the end, intimacy is what separates a meaningful relationship from a superficial interaction.

You Are Avoiding Them

A large part of having a relationship is about spending time together. Whether it is a friendship or a romantic relationship, you want a companion. Otherwise, what’s the point of being in the relationship at all? That said, it is a considerable red flag if you find yourself avoiding the other person or vice versa. Think about it. What could be the reasons for avoiding someone? You don’t like spending time with them? They make you feel angry, upset, worthless? You feel detached? You are keeping secrets and you don’t want them to find out? None of these reasons point to a long and healthy relationship. If avoidance is a hallmark of your relationship it is time to figure it out. Or go your separate ways.

You Are Feeling Invalidated

Are you constantly being put down or told your feelings have no value? One thing you should expect from partners, friends, and family is support. Yes, you can also expect some criticism every once in a while, but it should feel like it is coming from a place of love. When your feelings and actions are being consistently squashed, you can’t help but feel like you are worthless. Someone that makes feel like a second-class citizen isn’t worth your time.

You Don’t Trust Them

Although it is a cliche, trust is the hallmark of any good relationship. If someone else is lying or keeping things from you, you have to wonder what they are hiding. And if you aren’t being honest with someone, it is likely because you don’t feel safe to share your true self with them. Whatever the case, dishonesty will erode any relationship. You can’t stand for secrets and lying if you expect yours to survive.

You Are Making Relationship Excuses

A more subtle sign that your relationship might be on the rocks is if you find yourself making excuses for the fact that it isn’t going well. Maybe you try to convince yourself that something in the future will fix the relationship or it will change when you are in a different situation. For example, “It will be better when we move to a bigger place” or “We will be happy when she gets that promotion at work”. Some excuses might be true but if you are making them all the time for a long time, it spells trouble.

You Are Being Gaslighted

The concept of gaslighting has only recently become popularized in the media but it has been going on in relationships forever. Gaslighting is when another person attempts to make you feel like you are causing all the problems when it is really due to their actions. It is a form of psychological manipulation. The end result is that you blame yourself for everything but you aren’t quite sure exactly what you are doing wrong. It is crazy-making. The truth in any relationship is that both sides play a role in creating problems. If you are being made to think it is all your fault, it is time to question what is really going on.

You Have Nothing To Talk About

Common interests, common goals, and shared values. These are all essential aspects of good relationships. How can you tell you don’t share these critical factors? You have nothing to talk about. Whether you are a friend or partner, you need to be able to communicate about something. And that won’t happen if you have nothing in common. Another problem with not talking? It might indicate a level of detachment that is problematic for any healthy relationship.

You Aren’t Happy

The main reason to engage in a relationship is because it makes you happy. Having a friend or a romantic partner is supposed to bring joy. Unfortunately, sometimes that isn’t the case. Maybe it started happy and turned toxic. Or perhaps it was never that great in the first place. Either way, if you aren’t feeling excited and happy to be with someone, then it is time to move on to another person. You only have one life. Why waste time when you aren’t having a good time?