Unless you have been cut off from electricity, you have likely heard about the college admissions scandal that is causing outrage across the country. You know, the one where rich and powerful people bribed others to get their kids into college. You might be wondering, how can a parent believe it is okay to break the law just to ensure their child college admission? There is definitely some faulty reasoning going on there. In a word, it is called entitlement.

What is Entitlement?

Entitlement is what we call a cognitive distortion. It may also be called a defense mechanism or a thinking error. A thinking error is something we tell ourselves to make it okay to behave in a certain way. In other words, it is an excuse. We all exhibit these distortions in thinking. It is just some are more serious than others.

Specifically, entitlement is believing you have a right to something when you do not. In this case, parents believed they deserved special treatment because they were rich and powerful. They thought it was okay to pay for college admission because they were famous actors or CEOs of large companies. Of course, college admission is supposed to be based on merit rather than the size of your wallet.

Where Does Entitlement Come From?

People are not born entitled. It is something that is developed. If you are given undeserved advantages over a long period of time you are more likely to become entitled. Let’s take the case of Lori Laughlin. She has been rich and famous for the past 25 years. Over that time, she has largely been beloved by the public. Although she has undeniably worked hard as an actress, her fame and fortune have provided her easy access to most benefits. To put it more bluntly, it would be fair to say that people have been kissing her butt for a long time.

Entitlement develops quite often when people are in positions of power. Powerful people are often treated like demigods. In a way, entitlement is a form of brainwashing. When you are treated better than the average person, you actually start to believe that you deserve the advantages you have received. Be honest with yourself. If people had been pandering to you for the last 25 years wouldn’t you develop some entitled thoughts?

The Haves and Have Nots

We are partly to blame for entitlement. In the U.S., we put athletes, entertainers, and powerful people on a pedestal. We glorify them. Powerful people usually get what they want and most people are afraid to give them honest feedback. Unfortunately, when people keep telling you how awesome you are you begin to believe it.

Entitlement serves to further the divide between the haves and have nots. Entitled people get most of the advantages and continue to reap the benefits. On the flip side, people without those advantages fall further behind. This inequality is what has caused such outrage. Honest people who work hard to get into college are blocked out by rich people who buy their way in. Let’s not fool ourselves, this happens all the time. It is one of the main reasons the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.

Passing Down Entitlement

When you are an entitled parent, you are likely to pass down that sense of entitlement to your children. Olivia Jade, the daughter of Lori Laughlin, has become the symbol of the spoiled child who never had to work hard. All you have to do is look at her YouTube channel for evidence of entitlement. Whether she deserves the blame is a matter of debate. Yes, she is an adult free to make her own decisions but it is not her fault that her parents enabled her. We are, after all, largely products of our environment. Unfortunately for her, she will have to work twice as hard to rehabilitate her image.

The plain truth is that if you don’t have to work hard for what you receive in life, you are going to feel some level of entitlement. You just can’t help it. Therefore, it is up to parents—no matter how wealthy or powerful—to teach their children modesty and a strong work ethic. The problem is the following: how do you teach your children humility when you did not learn it yourself?

Erasing Entitlement

Although not easy, thoughts of entitlement, like all thinking errors, can be reduced. The key is to be realistic with your thinking. The first step is catching yourself when you have thoughts of entitlement. The next step is a repeated process where you challenge yourself with realistic thinking. Ask yourself, do you really deserve to get that perk just because you are powerful? Are you really better than another person simply because you have been given advantages? Eliminating feelings of entitlement will be more difficult for people whose thoughts are more deep-seated. A self-help CBT workbook or psychotherapy might be needed to attack more ingrained thoughts.

As a society, we can do more to reduce entitlement. Why do we pay a movie star more than a teacher? Why is a politician idolized while an EMT goes unrecognized? The U.S. is so focused on star power that we have created the imbalance that fuels entitlement. Until we change our values, entitlement will continue to thrive. In the end, we are all human beings who were created to be equal. We just need to start acting like it.