You may have heard of Cognitive Behavior Therapy or CBT. It is the most common form of psychological treatment, used by therapists to help with a variety of emotional issues, including depression and anxiety. The good news is that it is a short-term treatment, meaning you can begin to see results in 3-12 months. You may say to yourself, 3 to 12 months? That is an eternity. First of all, you may have good outcomes before then and second, compared to other forms of therapy, it is pretty brief. Certain psychodynamic therapies recommend seeing a therapist a few times a week for years. The other good news—and maybe something therapists do not want you to know—is that you don’t necessarily need to see a therapist to learn about it and use it for yourself. To be clear, I’m not saying you should not see a therapist, especially if you are having serious problems, but there are many aspects of CBT which fall into the self-help arena. So let us break it down to see if CBT is right for you.

The Cognitive Part of CBT

Here is the basic premise behind CBT: thoughts lead to feelings. Here it is in a fancy flowchart: Thoughts→Feelings

In other words, your thoughts are getting you in trouble and you need to change the way you think in order to feel better. Let us look at an example. Say you are getting an evaluation at work. Your boss tells you that your work is satisfactory overall. What do you think about what your boss said? Do you feel like you are a horrible person and want to curl up on the couch with a pint of Ben and Jerrys and eat your feelings of sadness? Do you somewhat agree with the satisfactory rating and decide you need to work harder? Maybe you think your boss is crazy and you really don’t care? As you can see, there are many options as to how one can take the news. Depending on your perspective you may have a variety of feelings regarding your evaluation. It is this perspective that you need to work on.

There is one key factor in being successful with CBT: you need to learn to think realistically. If you think realistically about situations you are going to be able to cope more effectively with life. This doesn’t mean you will never feel sad or anxious, it just means that your feelings will be appropriate to the situation. The hard part is getting yourself to think realistically. This is where going to therapy or self-help comes in. If you want to help yourself, go to your favorite bookstore (or Amazon) and find some CBT workbooks. Buy one and start working.

The Behavioral Side of CBT

What are the behaviors you are performing which are hindering your emotional health? Do you feel good about yourself after you have six donuts for breakfast? Probably not. Do you respect yourself after hooking up with that guy down the hall because you drank too much red wine? I’m guessing not. So why do you keep performing these behaviors that are making you feel poorly? The answer may be complicated but the good news is that if you are engaging in unhealthy behaviors you can start changing them today.

Change is not easy. We are more comfortable doing the same old thing even if it is bad for us. You are going to have to commit to change. Start by performing one behavior that you know is positive. You are more likely to have lasting change if you do it gradually than trying six new behaviors all at once. I’ll give you a good tip: start off your day with one positive behavior.

Personally, I try to start my day by exercising. Why do I do this? Because it is good for me and I feel good about myself for doing it. It sets the tone for my day in a positive way and it is reinforcing. You are much more likely to continue to perform positive behaviors if you start the day with one. If I started my day with a cigarette and a glass of bourbon it probably would not go so well. In my blog post, The Healthy Trinity, I talked about the importance of exercising, eating healthily, and sleep. Those are all examples of healthy behaviors and they would be a good place to start.

Practicing CBT Is Hard Work But Worth It

That is CBT in a nutshell. Learn to think realistically and perform behaviors that you know are good for you. Easy right? It is actually hard work, mostly because our thinking and our behavior have become so ingrained over time. With effort and commitment, however, you can succeed. Remember, If you are having trouble helping yourself, go see a therapist.