Despite the science, many people around the world are refusing to be vaccinated for the coronavirus. They have different reasons: the vaccines are too new, the COVID-19 threat is exaggerated, vaccines cause disease, etc. It is similar to people who refuse to wear a mask. We have all seen the video clips. Someone in a store is having a tirade over being told they need to put on a mask or leave. An anti-vaxxer and an anti-masker may believe they are in the right but, ironically, they have one thing in common: they minimize the effects of their behavior on everyone else’s health.

Unfortunately, it is no longer only a health problem. People have somehow used the coronavirus to support their personal beliefs. It has become a political issue, a religious conflict, and a stand for individual rights. Whatever the reasoning, people who refuse to get vaccines or wear masks put us all in danger. It begs the question: how do you talk to people who won’t listen to the facts, who appear to be immune to science? You don’t want to start a fight, especially if they are a friend. Here are some do’s and dont’s when dealing with an anti-vaxxer.

Don’t Recite Facts

There is a temptation to clobber an anti-vaxxer with facts. The problem is that if they listened to science they wouldn’t be refusing to get vaccinated in the first place. You may get an opportunity later on to argue the science behind vaccination but if you do that right away, it will go nowhere.

Do Listen

This is good advice for any conversation. Too often, we are looking to prove a point rather than actually listen to what the other person has to say. If you are formulating your rebuttal while the other person is speaking, then you are not really listening. You may not agree with what they are saying but at least have the courtesy to truly try to understand their perspective. Besides, people can tell when you aren’t paying attention to what they are saying.

Don’t Moralize

Telling someone that they are “bad” for not getting a vaccine is only going to make them defensive. Everyone has different morals. They might really believe that what they are doing is right. Being judgmental is a surefire way to get someone to shut down and entrench themselves in their position.

Do Be Empathetic

Empathy can be hard to come by when you don’t understand another’s point of view. But that is the whole point. Empathy is all about trying to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Even if you are struggling to see their perspective, it is important to validate their feelings and try to understand their reasons. Show them respect for their position. Not everyone agrees with each other but at least you can try your best to comprehend their feelings. If you show empathy you may have a fighting chance to get through to them.

Do Make It Easy

Have you ever wanted to go to the gym to exercise but just couldn’t motivate to make it happen? To help, you try to make it as easy as possible to get there. Maybe, for example, you keep a gym bag in the trunk of your car or you put it on your daily to-do list. If you show an anti-vaxxer how easy it is to get a vaccine that may go a long way toward them receiving one. Send them a sign-up link and share with them how simple the process was when you got vaccinated. You can even offer to help them schedule an appointment or give them a lift to the vaccination center.

Don’t Lose Your Cool

Getting into a debate about vaccines or masks can quickly become very heated. It is an important issue with numerous health implications. The passion behind people’s beliefs may lead to an argument, or even worse, a physical confrontation. Needless to say, getting into a fight with an anti-vaxxer is not going to do much to change their views. It will only allow them to put the focus on you and further cement their position.

Do Point Out the Benefits

Human beings are selfish by nature. When we perform a behavior we often want to know what’s in it for us. Luckily, getting vaccinated has multiple benefits. First of all, you can go almost anywhere, inside or outside, without any guilt. That includes businesses that may not let you in without proof of vaccination. It frees you up to travel wherever you want, even countries outside the United States. The European Union, for instance, now allows travelers from the US to visit but only if you are vaccinated. You can also have peace of mind that you won’t get sick from COVID-19. While there is still a small chance that you can get coronavirus, the probability that you will get serious effects or transmit it to others is minuscule. Further, you can feel good that you are contributing to “herd immunity” and taking a step for the greater good.

Do Emphasize Commonalities

People are more open to another person’s suggestions when they feel that person is similar to them. To that end, it is important to share whatever you may have in common with an anti-vaxxer. Maybe you are from the same place or share the same political affiliation. You will be more successful at persuasion if they feel like they can relate to you. They are unlikely to be convinced to switch their position by someone they regard as foreign or dissimilar.

Don’t Expect This To Be Resolved Quickly

It is unlikely that you are going to convince an anti-vaxxer to get vaccinated in one conversation. You will probably need to make a consistent effort over time to change their minds. But, be patient and keep chipping away. It won’t be easy but you may find success down the road. Just remember, If you can even change one person’s mind, you are helping everyone else to stay healthy.