Last post, I discussed how parents can help a child who is being bullied. Although we all want to believe that our children are incapable of bullying, someone out there is picking on other kids. The truth is that every child is more than capable of being a bully under the right circumstances. It does not mean they are a bad person. They have just learned a poor form of coping. The following suggestions can assist you in changing your child’s behavior if you find out that they are bullying other kids. 

Talk to Your Child About Being a Bully

Bullying other people is a sign that your child is having trouble appropriately dealing with a situation. Maybe they want attention or they have been bullied themselves. Try to reserve judgment (and anger) and focus on understanding what is going on with them. You can better address the problem if you know what it is. Also, your child is likely going to be happy you are showing concern.

Encourage Them To Accept Responsibility

A child must acknowledge what they did wrong and apologize for their behavior. If it occurred online, they can make an online apology via social media, etc. You can’t make any further progress until they understand they behaved in a hurtful way. Accepting responsibility is always the first step in changing damaging behavior.

Help Them Develop Empathy

Empathy is not always high on the list of kids’ qualities. You may need to help them develop some empathy. For example, you can ask them questions, like how must it feel to be bullied? You can also give them a consequence where they write down all the negative consequences of bullying. Keep in mind that consequences need to make sense to be effective. Taking away their Xbox for a month may not have the desired effect. 

Assist Them With Coping Skills

If your kid is a bully, they likely have a coping skills deficit. This may be the result of a lack of social skills, an anger problem, or a poor self-image. You can teach them more appropriate ways to handle an encounter that will produce the desired result. Role-playing is an effective way to practice potential situations.

Monitor Internet Use

Whether your child is a bully—or is being bullied— proper supervision of their internet use can prevent issues before they start. It is always easier to tell them upfront about how you are going to monitor their use. Although the fact that you are going to supervise them is non-negotiable, it is helpful to involve them in the process and allow them to provide input. The knowledge that you are watching is likely to curb any bullying behavior. If it still occurs, however, supervision gives you the opportunity to intervene before it becomes a problem.

Your Child Does Not Have To Be A Bully

Bullying is a common and serious issue. Bullying other children is a sign that your child needs help. It needs to be dealt with immediately and directly with firmness, love, and compassion. Together, you can take steps to help make sure it does not continue and improve your relationship in the process.