When I was 10 years old my mother took me to see the movie My Bodyguard. It is about a bullied high school student who becomes friends with a misunderstood peer with a disturbing past. The new friend serves as a protector against the people that are bullying his classmate. Some of the content is violent and distressing. I ended up crying because I was afraid the friends would get hurt. Despite the fact that I probably should not have seen this movie (it was R rated), it is one of my first recollections of having empathy. I was afraid for those characters. I could imagine what it felt like to be them and I possessed the ensuing emotions. Empathetic acts are extremely valuable during times of crisis, especially when many people are facing difficult situations. Unfortunately, right now numerous Americans are exhibiting a lack of empathy.

What is Empathy?

Put simply, empathy is being able to understand someone else’s situation, both intellectually and emotionally.

Intellectual Empathy

This refers to cognitive understanding. For example, do you understand that someone who has cancer is likely afraid of dying? Or, someone who has lost their home to a flood is worried about where they live and losing their belongings? You need to have intellectual empathy to have emotional empathy. You can’t feel something if you don’t first understand the situation.

Emotional Empathy

When you are able to possess similar feelings to someone who is actually going through a particular situation you possess emotional empathy. It is important to recognize that someone who has intellectual empathy does not necessarily possess emotional empathy. You can understand a situation without feeling the accompanying emotions. For instance, you may understand that a friend would be upset when their mother dies but, because it is not your mother, you don’t feel very sad.

Why Are Some People Unempathetic?

We all know someone who seems to only look out for themselves. This is a person we can’t lean on when times are tough. Here are some reasons they may appear to lack empathy.

They Can’t Relate

If you have a situation that someone has never experienced they may not have the cognitive understanding to empathize. A young white person living in rural Nebraska, for example, may have never interacted with someone with different skin color. They may have no understanding of racism because they have never seen anyone experience it. As a result, when they see examples of racial inequality and unrest on TV they may lack empathy.

It Doesn’t Impact Them Directly

This is probably the biggest reason that people are unempathetic. They understand the situation intellectually but they don’t care as much because it is not personally happening to them. You might call this being selfish but most human beings don’t care as much unless they are personally affected. Regrettably, very few people in this world are genuinely altruistic.

They Have Sociopathic Tendencies

Certain people find it almost impossible to be empathic. They likely have a psychological disorder, such as Narcissistic or Antisocial Personality. Serial killers are a good example. You wouldn’t go around murdering numerous people if you had empathy. Due to biology, or some other factors, they have developed a non-empathetic personality. These people tend to be toxic and dangerous; if you don’t have empathy, what is stopping you from doing something highly damaging?

They Are Emotionally Blunted

Other people have the capacity for emotional empathy but, for some reason, it is numbed. This could be due to something they have experienced or being in a certain psychological state. For example, someone who has gone through trauma may be disconnected from their feelings as a defense mechanism. Or, someone coping with addiction may become desensitized to emotions.

Why We Need Empathy Right Now

America is going through a period of crisis. Between COVID-19 and numerous violent incidents related to racial unrest we need to empathize with the plight of others in order to improve the situation and get our country back on track. Let’s explore how empathy affects our world today.

Coronavirus

COVID-19 has shown a spotlight on those people who exhibit empathy versus those who don’t. Empathic people understand that this is a health crisis where you have to take one for the team. You may not have coronavirus or even know anyone who has had it. But, to help the country as a whole, you follow certain measures to prevent the spread of the disease.

Unfortunately, there is a disturbing lack of empathy being exhibited by many people. I’m not talking about the people who are trying to save their livelihood. I’m talking about those people who are doing non-essential activities just because they are tired of social distancing. You know these people. They are the ones partying with 100 other people without wearing masks. They congregate closely in large groups just because they can. It is likely that these people have yet to be affected by this crisis so they just don’t care. Unfortunately, people who are unempathetic in this situation are putting us all at risk of serious illness.

Racial Incidents

We have seen a lack of empathy across the racial incidents that have occurred over the past couple of weeks. Here are a couple of examples of how an absence of empathy played a role in inflaming America’s race relations.

George Floyd

George Floyd was killed when he stopped breathing after a police officer kneeled across his airway for several minutes. He was originally taken into custody for forgery and did not appear to be resisting arrest. Who knows exactly why the police acted that way? Maybe they were racist. Maybe they just got off on a power trip. Whatever the case, they certainly were not exhibiting empathy. An empathic officer would not have treated an unarmed victim in such a harsh and unnecessary manner. They would have understood how much potential damage they were causing. There were four officers on the scene for this incident. Just one officer exhibiting some empathy could have changed everything. George Floyd would be alive today and America would be a much more peaceful place.

The Coopers

In case you missed it, a white woman (Amy Cooper ) called the police on a black man (Christian Cooper) in New York’s Central Park this week because he asked her to leash her dog. This is a classic combination of racism and white entitlement. You could say that much of racism comes from a lack of empathy. In this case, you have a white woman who has probably never felt the sting of racism and could not relate to the black experience. Additionally, she has probably never been directly negatively affected by a racist act. Add in some negative community and family influence and you have a person who feels a black person should never ask a white person to follow the rules. It is no coincidence that racism and inequality flourishes when empathy dies.

Needed: Respect and Kindness

The only thing that will see us through our present crisis is respect and kindness. Those attributes occur through empathic acts. If we respect each other through social distancing, mask-wearing, and cleanliness we can save thousands of people from COVID-19. Further, racism cannot thrive when people are able to empathize with the minority experience. Be kind to each other. Respect each other’s lives and well-being. We are all just people. Take the time to think about a situation from someone else’s perspective. The practice of empathy will make us better human beings and a stronger nation.